Its happening again ...

They make fun of me of course.  I would too.  I've run my last 100 at least 7 times now.  Or I should say, my last attempt at running my last 100 7 or so times now.  I think I've started 9 and finished 4.  I'm out of balance.  I like all my coffee cups hanging on the hooks the same way.  my toiletries are aligned, books on the shelves are straight (oddly enough I can not abide by a desk 90 or 180 degrees in a room).  They make fun of me for that too.  I've never really grown out of being made fun of I guess.  Do any of us?  do we progress beyond kindergarten ?  do we?  I'm still running willy nilly through the woods.  still ride my bike.  i like campfires, building things and dogs and hugs and I still get made fun of.  Sound's just like Mrs. Doro's class to me.

So I can't run Kettle this year because I signed up for the Lutsen 99er last September 9thish - or the day I felt like I should be running Sawtooth.  The Lutsen 99er is a 99 mile mountain bike race at the end of june - 2 or 3 weeks after kettle.  So I signed up for the Trek 100 to get ready.  It's the same day as Kettle.  If I ran Kettle - 1) I'd not bike before then and 2) my feet would be swollen for weeks after so 3) the Lutsen 99er would be painful and we all know I like to be the smiley runner at the end of every race (right - I do not win them - that would entail too much pain).

But - I've been thinking.  Sawtooth would really be just like an awesome hike right.  I't can't be that bad and I love it up there.  i just need someone to pace me at night when its so scary and dark and howly with wolves.... And - as noted - I am out of balance, 4 of 9 and all.  plus the Dutch Kettle is only a 1/2 this year - hardly worth the effort.  So - I'd like to sign up or think about signing up.  And - I need to decide soon because ultra-running is becoming way way too popular and requires so much planning ahead.

So - do i sign up now and maybe not run it.  I'd be made fun of.  Do I not sign up and then feel remorse in September (or would it be relief?)?  If I did sign up - I could'nt quit at 42 again just because Kevin did and it was so scary and dark and Allison had a car (that was one of the times I was so happy to know I was never running another 100 .... I think there may have been a video made as well ....).

Boy-O-Boy the pressure is on ...

Just like we all always say .... it wasn't me.

Last year I attempted the Kettle 100 and wrote about being OK with not having completed it - and not being a 100 mile runner.  Then as all two of my readers know, I changed my mind (3 days later).  And I believe, recently, I wrote about needing to run one more 100.

So.  Off I went on Saturday.  Goal, 12 minute miles.  12 x 100 = 1200 minutes = 20 hours + some fudge factor, I'm done about 2:30.  Have a beer and I'm in bed before light and all is well.  I got tired at mile 28 though.  It wasn't hot, except it kind of was.  I was just pouring sweat.  At Wilton road, I came up on a man deep into the Body Glide ritual.  Not something a man wants to see another man doing.  Parker apologized.  We ran together for a while discussing the heat, humidity and chafing.   At this point, I had my Hawaiian shirt on since this spring has been so cold and awful, I would have been sunburned had I not put something on at Scuppernong.  I do look good though.

2 of the 6 women that got me through.

At Emma Carlin (mile 47 ?), I was still on "schedule"  Kathy told me I was 6 minutes ahead.  I said - just wait .... by Bluff I had lost 25 minutes and Kathy was texting my pacers that there was some worry (she said she saw it in my face).  They were COMING ANYWAY.

Women and Girls just know how to take care of you

As I hit Tamarac (mile 57 ish) I still didn't know.  By mile 60, I was contemplating flipping a coin.  Then I saw Joel coming back out.  Darn it !!  At the 100K point - as the picture above shows 1) I was very tired and by now, cold (but at the same time hot) and 2) very comfortable thanks to Hannah's pillow and EmmaGrace's blanket.  I explained that I was not likely to finish until 8:00 AM Sunday morning.  My sister Suzannah, who has three children (one of whom is 6 months old) said not to worry, she was happy to walk with me the first 14 miles and then my nieces Rachel and Emily were going to go the last 24 miles with me and that they are COLLEGE students and college students like to stay up all night.  Kathy very convincingly said that staying up and crewing for me until 8:00 was perfectly fine with her as well.  So convincingly, I believed her.

So:  Kathy is ok.  Hannah and EmmaGrace are OK, Suzannah is OK, Emily and Rachael are COMING ANYWAY and my friends Kevin and Ladonna know that I need to finish (Kevin is old like me and understands the need to "do one more 100.")

I got up.  Got some warm clothing on and away Suzannah and I went .... slowly.  very slowly.  That's it really.  Getting out of Nordic is all I really needed to do.  As the title says.  It wasn't me.

I got to run with my Sister again.  I got to remember the time 6 years ago now that she ran me in on my first 100 mile run.  Once again, the night was beautiful.  we ran the same section (on the way out this time).  We heard the bullfrogs.  we felt the stillness and the awe.  And as we approached Hwy 12, a pack of coyotes was yelping and howling on the oak ridge across the lake (I explained that we would soon be running over there).  Another magic memory that will stay with us both to the end.

At Hwy 12, Rachel and Emilie were waiting.  Emily was going to take the next section except Rachel was going to go too.  After some confusion over head lamps (I was not helpful - I apologize) and some insisting that they take at least a little water, off we went.  They were perfect pacers.  falling into my sporadic rhythm.  Run when you can, walk when you have to.  They talked, but not too much (like one particular pacer we were stuck near for a while (she would have driven me batty - but hopefully was just what her particular runner needed)). We ran down to Rice lake and back, seeing lots of people I knew, all saying hi Ron.  And everyone I didn't, all saying hi and good job.  Emily and Rachel saying they didn't deserve to be told good job, not realizing that without them, no good job would have been being done.  They were learning about the ultarunning "community."  While we are all obviously somewhat obsessive and many would call loaners - we are a very strong, supportive community of them.

Back at Hwy 12 Emily decided to run to Bluff as well.  A total of about 16 miles.  I'm not sure that she's ever run that far.  And after Bluff, it was just Rachel and I.  The girl that just can't say no (according to her dad and my sister) - never said no.  We walk ran it in.  Suzannah and I turned on our flashlights about four miles out from nordic, Rachel and I turned ours off with about 4 miles to go.

So, I completed my 4th and last 100 miler.  Definitely no where near as well as my first and third.  It's done though.  And, it's done because of the wonderful support I had from 6 beautiful women (ok two are still girls).  I can't thank them enough and I hope that my crazy adventure taught them just a little about tenacity (I've been called stubborn), but more, I hope they each remember this excellent adventure with as much love and awe as I will.

And I was thinking ..... I wonder what Leadville would be like?  I wonder if Rachel needs a pacer at Kettle?  That would be a good training run for me .....

I was wrong. And if you are sick, it's my fault and I apologize.

I'm running 100 miles on Saturday.  Or such is my plan.

I just read my post after quitting Kettle at the 100K point last year.  It sounded great.  So convincing.  So final.  So grounded and mature.  Apparently it wasn't.  Apparently I changed my mind.

It started bugging me that I've quit the last 3 100's I started.  I am not a quitter.  Really.  I may change my mind sometimes (like the last 3 100's I've started), but I don't quit.  Except I have.  And I did.  And I knew it.

And my kids knew it.  Hannah was only 5 when I last completed Kettle.  She and EmmaGrace have seem me quit twice.  It's not OK.  So, I signed up again.

Surprisingly, I've actually not been all that nervous about it.  Of course, it's been an incredibly cool spring which may have been a factor.  I haven't been nervous until this Monday that is.  That's when I started planning my drop bags and watching the weather.  Monday night - I got the cold fever sweats.  I immediately assumed:

1. I have the flu (because other people I know have it - I therefore apologize to all sick people out there - you actually always get sick 1 to 2 weeks before my races just to set me into a panic.  It's my fault.  I'm sorry.) 
2. I have Lyme's disease (because I think I was bitten by a tic whilst camping at Fanny lake 2 weeks ago and I read a lot on the internet about Lymes disease) 
3. I overdosed on Morels this weekend (we had too many last year and all felt woozy for a couple days too)
4. I am entering Manopause (which is perfectly OK) or 
5. I'm nervous (which was actually not a consideration until just now when I read last year's post and saw that I had the cold night sweats too).  

So here it is.  Thursday.  I've slept in flannel and fleece each night to sweat out my sickness (that I may not actually have).  And - I'm very excited because my wetsuit came today and I understand they make your really sweaty (won't Kathy be surprised by this evening's attire ....).

But.  Aside from the fact that I may be sick, or not (see above), I'm not really that worried this year.  I am very well set on simply finishing.  I will not run any hills until mile 70.  I am focusing on 12 minute miles which I still have not achieved in training ( no matter what - I end up at 10 min miles).  I also have planned some very slow sections across the marsh and down to Rice Lake and back where it's dark and rocky.  I do however expect to run the last 14 at a 10 min. pace.  In effect, I'm hoping to be the same guy i was at Ice Age.  Not the fastest guy there, but definitely the happiest and most able to almost immediately grab a burger and a beer (this is a common measure of wellbeing amongst ultra-runners - usually, if we push it to the end, we find ourselves feeling rather awful and unable to eat for an hour or more - my goal is to finnish happy, strong and ready to eat).

So I was wrong when I thought I was mature enough to retire from this 100 mile running thing.  And I really hope I don't have to write a post on Sunday telling all of you (like there are any of you) that actually I was right, then I was wrong and now (Sunday) I'm right again.....

Life is complicated.  I'm pretty sure we bring that on ourselves.

Country Mouse comes to the City

I was trying to get out for a run today.  It was hard.  I needed to plan.  I needed to take care of certain things (it being the morning and all).  I was nervous.  Where was I going to be able to stop if a crisis ensued !!  I packed my normal running supplies (everyone I run with knows what is ALWAYS in my pocket).  It was taking me forever to get out.  Kathy was getting antsy since my run was holding up the family. and then Kathy said it:

The country mouse comes to the city.  It took a while to sink in.  But it's true.  The above is a picture of our mini bar here at the Four Seasons Hotel in St. Louis.  Or rather, it's a picture of the contents of our mini bar here at the Four Seasons Hotel.  We needed to empty the mini bar because we bought beer from the grocery store.  And we bought meat and bread and carrots from the grocery store so that we can have a picnic tomorrow.

I really am not a city mouse.  My run ended up going under railroad tracks and through industrial areas (industrial "park" is way too nice to describe the area).  The whole while I was cognizant of the areas of safety (in terms of a potential crisis). I managed 6 miles.  I went to a nice old French area of the city.  ran along the river.  When I got back to the hotel, the door guy handed me a water. Wow !!  the nice check in lady asked me about my run.  All I could manage to say about it was that I ran under a train bridge and saw a homeless tent encampment (I actually seem to be able to find these in every city I run in).

This country mouse is looking forward to getting out tomorrow.  We are going to hike / run the Chub trail which I have been told in in the country.  I'll have my normal running supplies - but I wont be nervous.

My bullets fell out of my pajamas the other day.

Once you have bullets in your pajamas, you don't tend to take them out.  It's just not on the list of things you remember, like I got up so I'll make coffee or take a shower or brush my teeth or empty the dishwasher.  I remember these things. I do not however remember to take the bullets out of my pajamas.  When they fell out, I was upstairs in the guest bedroom (since that's where my closet is because the very large closet I built in our bedroom is 100% filled by Kathy - and frankly - it's easier to have a closet outside of the bedroom since I go to bed before her and get up before her.  I am just quietly in bed when she arrives and gone when she gets up so it's really as if my only purpose in the bedroom is to serve as one of those warming stones/pans they used to put in the beds - or at least did in Miss Swann's bed in one of the Pirates of the Caribbean movies)   and I just put them back in my pocket since the box of bullets wasn't in my closet and I really don't want bullets just sort of laying around the house or sitting on the dresser (yes, my dresser is also in the guest bedroom).

My pajamas are lime green fleece with grinch heads printed on them.  I don't remember whether Hannah or EmmaGrace bought them for me.  It could be either of them since they both believe me to be the Grinch which is of course understandable since Kathy always says - don't be such a grinch Ron. I'm not really a grinch - but I do like peace and quiet and sometimes living with 3 girls/women can get loud and being a man, I may (at least to them) express myself rather grinchishly.  In the same vein, both daughters like the fact that once I have expressed myself, I merrily go about my business.  No brooding, no lengthy lectures.  And - please note here - Brooding "the act of sitting on eggs to incubate them is called brooding"  Hens, i.e, females are the ones that brood.  Bill (our rooster) never broods - he just struts about crowing his way through every day- of course he is rather Hen Pecked .....  Its all connected.  We are all the same.  Are we chickens?

Now I have a bullet in my pants too.  It really can't stay there very long.  Banging around in my pocket with my iPhone.  I don't really have anywhere to put it.  Should I throw it away?  What if something sharp hits it in the garbage.  That would be a problem for the garbage carrier and then for me since who else would have been the one to throw a bullet in the garbage.  I could put it in my drawer - but.

And several weeks later - I finish this post (this being the first new sentence in weeks).  The bullets are our of my pajamas now (I washed my pajamas).  It seems that the squirrels have enough food in nature (we do have about 250 Walnut trees on the property).  In other words I am beyond the season where I come down to make coffee, see the squirrels all over the bird feeders, load the .22 (since when I went through a period of using the shotgun I felt kind of bad since the advantage was so heavily stacked in my favour ..) and attempt to sneak out the door to level the birds' playing field.  The squirrels were smart this year though (I believe this is a result of selective breeding over the past 10 years (man in grinch pajamas - run, zig zag, do not tarry !!) and as a result, the bullets collected in my pajamas (load gun, run around yard in pajamas, give up, unload gun, put bullet in pocket) rather than being used much.

I'm not on the farm.  Not near it.  I'm in Las Vegas for the Financial Forensics Accounting Academy (or something like that).  It's quite interesting.  Last time I was here was in 2003, stayed at the Venetian, got a $60 taxi ride to the hotel and barely saw outside but for the early AM runs along the strip, trying not to trip over all of the bare naked lady cards left on the ground (I wonder how one feels to see their image tossed aside as garbage ....).

This year there was no way I could stay inside for a whole week, so I rented a car, Ford Focus - very nice.  It's been great actually.  I've gotten to bed each night about 9:00 and up each day by 4:30.  Going down through the casino and Lobby at 5:30 am headed out for a run makes me feel so superior to all of the people still up and drinking at the bar (bars - they are every where in this hotel - The Cosmopolitan).  It's like I was back in Madison, 1985, going for my winter night runs past the bars with people inside, not running.  Is it bad to measure oneself against one's environment?

The light and noise and crowds of people here is beyond me.  It's the opposite of who I am.  I like people, but in small, well known doses.  Luckily, Las Vegas actually has phenomenal running trails within a 40 minute drive (10 of which is just managing the awful traffic lights on the Strip) of the Hotels.  I agree with my friend Mr. Lammers that Bootleg Canyon is the best.  The attached picture is of me, having made it up what started as a bike trail but became more of a climbing route before joining back up with a bike trail (and a slight divergence here - these bike trails are WAY beyond my comprehension - they were hard to walk or run - I simply can not imagine maneuvering mountain bikes down them).  This was at Bootleg canyon.  Just amazing to run at.  

I check out tomorrow.  I was going to muster up the courage to walk down on the strip tonight and drink a beer at a bar, by myself.  I just couldn't do it. (I was lucky enough to have been taken under the wings of a married couple in my class (Thank you Cami and Dusty !) - so tonight we went out to a Diners Drive-ins and Dives featured Restaurant, Forte Tapas Bar)  Instead, here I am, thinking about the farm, thinking about my family, thinking about the quiet, and likely going to bed.  I saw a great trail to run up this morning.  I was able to google the area and can see where I need to go to park.  Looks like I'll be up at 4:30 and feeling superior one more time tomorrow as I walk through the lobby to go on one last quiet adventure here.

I think I'l come back here next year for training in the least likely city for Ron to ever be seen in ....

I might be too old now

Glacial 50K.  Yep.  50K not 50 mile.  and I am glad.

Old Ron Bero signed up for the Glacial 50K this year.  Having not trained much this summer (of course it's all relative right - ran some 20's and such throughout the summer).  Decided that I better get my act in gear so I signed up for the Lapham Peak Marathon and the Northface 50K once it was clear that after re-spraining my ankle at least 3 times that Superior was out of the picture for this year (and Kathy said - there is no way you are doing that Ron (which provided the perfect excuse really)).  trained up for the two races Sept 8 and 15th.  Ran Lapham in 4:02 - basically 4 Blacks at about 59:30 each which for me is really pretty good.  I won my age group (I also lost my age group).  The NF50k wasn't all that bad either - 4:39 came in second in my age group (Joel's 50 now - I'll never win my age group again as long as he's in it - I have started my Nordic Ski training already though).

So - with Lapham and NF under my belt (and perhaps a few Hamm's Light's in my belly), Joel and I decided that we could do the Glacial 50 mile this year.  It would be a nice balance - I was at three 50Ms and four 50Ks so this would round things out for me.  So - we switched.  But then the weather report started telling us that it was going to rain all weekend.  I whined but to no avail.  The Reverend was stubborn.  He was not going back on his plan.

Up at 3:00.  sat on my porch (I do this every morning - 365 days a year - yes I do tend to be habitual - think the TV Show Monk....)  Not bad out.  60 degrees and misty - actually my favorite running weather.  But - the weather app was telling me it was not going to get warmer that day in Greenbush - it was going to be getting colder and the wind was going to be building to 20mph our of the northeast.  A Nor-easter as it is.  Ugh.  I felt the DNF coming and there is no such thing as a DNF in a 50 mile (for me so far anyways).  Driving up - I remained positive but somewhat hoped that I might be late.  Then about 5:00 the rain started and it was getting colder.  I was raining so hard that even stopping in a corn field wasn't an option.  I made it in time.  It was pouring.  This was the kind of day that you'd just like to stay inside and clean your basement and watch movies (which is exactly what I did all day Saturday). I walked in and apologized to the Reverend and had Old Ron switched back down to the 50K (Thank you Robert !!).

That 50K decision was the best decision I've made in a while.  It was ok at the start.  I couldn't see in the woods (rain and clouds make it dark).  rolled my ankle a few times. and settled in to a rather heavy slog.  happily telling everyone I met - like Pink Man John, with whom I ran for a while, it is a GREAT day for a 50K !  And it was.  I ran out in about 2:33 or so (actually forgot to look at my watch but Matt said 2:30 and he was ahead of me at the turnaround) and back in about 2:34.  It was slipperier and softer on the way back and the wind had picked up, the rain had picked up and it had gotten colder.  And - my left quad started cramping.  I think it was from the cold.  The other slight issue was that all I had for GU was the Jet Black Raspberry 2x caffeine.  By the time I finished my heart was doing an offbeat spasm of a dance.  I had chilly then a beer to calm it down.

In essence - I may be too old to do a 50 mile in pouring rain in 50 degree weather now.  I just don't think I could have mustered up the mental energy to make it through 10+ hours of being in that S___t yesterday.  and I am glad that Old Ron realized this BEFORE he started.  What a great day for a 50K.

The Shotgun

Apparently I have not shot my shot gun up in the air for a while.

I've only shot it towards the ground.  Many of you (not that there are any of you reading this) know what I have shot ( I feel like I should be writing shotten - but I looked it up and it has something to do with baby herring - so I'll stick with - have shot ).  Suffice it to say that whilst all 6 of our baby chicks have been eaten (see - eaten, shotten - not shot, et - as in I aint et nothin all day), none of the adults except Zipp have been.  I will take care of the baby chick eater soon though ...

Anyways .... When I shot my shot gun in a generally upwards direction last night, my hand/back of thumb hit my nose so hard that it bled.  This can only mean two things.  One, I no longer know how to shoot my shot gun in a generally upwards direction, which is disturbing since this is the direction shot guns are generally shot (there we are again ... shotten) in. Or, two, my nose has grown rather larger.  I now actually realize that it must me option two since - my nose has grown (everyones does) and two - I shoot my shotgun at least a couple times per week all summer long (again - why will remain the provence of those who know me best - and lest this sound too mysterious and creepy - my daughter EmmaGrace was actually the one who, on Monday night, yelled "Dad!!, there's a _____, get your gun !!).

Right - the un answered question.  why did you shoot your gun in a generally upwards direction last night Ron?

We were having dinner on the porch last night.  Kathy had made cous cous (spelling?) with a spicy chicken broth (we have LOTS of chicken broth - since we have lost of chickens (had)) and kale sauce (really great - minced Kale broth - really).  Either Hannah or EmmaGrace noticed a Wasp nest in the tree outside the porch.  First thing I thought of was my shot gun.  All three girls agreed that to be the best solution.

I wonder if that's normal ?

I thought I saw a hawk running away with a chicken Friday

last Friday, my day didn't start out like anyone else's in my office.  I got in from California at 10:00 on Thursday night.  Then the hour plus home from the airport, on the way home I bought some Fritos and a sprite.  Once home, I had a beer and a hard boiled egg.

I'm up at 6:00.  As is my habit, I put on pajama pants, a t-shirt and a fleece, went down stairs, made coffee and started to empty the dishwasher.  Something was wrong.  The chickens were making too much noise.  So I looked out the window.  I knew something was really wrong when I saw Bill running down into the yard.  Bill is our favorite rooster.  We have about 5, 4 too many.  Bill never ins down into the yard, Only Tom does.

I fumbled with my shotgun and tried to find shells.  I have a great ability to forget where I keep my guns.  Something one would think one would not easily misplace.  I managed 2 Upland Game loads.  Pretty light, 2 3/4 inch shells.  I walked up to the chicken coop, realizing I really couldn't see yet.  My eyes are sort of fuzzy in the morning.  If you are over 50, you probably understand.

The chickens were in an uproar.  A chicken fit if you will.  I didn't see any obvious predator.  no cats.  Then I saw the horses jump about.  so I climbed the fence (yes, in my pajamas) into the paddock.  I found a baby chick.  wondered if it was EmmaGrace's favorite one, she named it Ally.

Out in the pasture I saw what looked like a hawk waddle running through the field.  I rubbed my eyes and blinked several times, then realized it was a fox carrying a chicken so I "aimed" the shotgun and shot.  Not surprisingly,  given that I had just woken up and just hours before had been in California ... I'm guessing I missed since just then, the chicken that looked like a waddling hawk but was really the potential meal of a fox, came running back towards me.  He was actually my least favorite rooster ....

I then climbed the fence into the pasture (yes in my pajamas) and wandered about a bit.  I scared up a fox, another fox, the same fox, I don't really know.  I shot my last round.  I didn't find anything.  Given the length of the pasture grass and my level of awareness, it isn't surprising that I missed.

I told EmmaGrace (our daughter) about the events of the morning.  By the time I got home Friday night, Kathy was wondering why I killed a fox.  13 year old girls can get things rather mixed up and exaggerated ......

My 3" heavy loads are now next to my gun and I think I'll be mowing the pasture this weekend.  I wonder what I'll find tomorrow ?  I'm getting up early.

Never mind and oh how things have changed...

First of all never mind what I said on Sunday.  (we'll get back to that).

Second.  I flew to San Francisco today.  I am in a $99 hotel room.  the picture is out my window, it is a wall and the employee entrance to the "magical" San Leandro Hotel.  While I am on San Francisco bay, this is my view.  The employees, leaving via the employee entrance, tried not to notice me, shirtless after a run, sitting at my desk.  If this were the reality show with curb your enthusiasm music playing, I would be happily, ignorantly (I live in Dodge county on a farm, remember) sitting at my computer, in front of my giant mirror (you can't miss my image as you leave the door) typing away.  Unfortunately, my reality is more real than reality TV, so I smile as each employee leaves, sees me, then tries not to.

Apparently, even though I make substantially more per hout than I did in the 1990's, my lodging accommodations have declined rather a lot .....  guess i'll take the trade off - it's what we do in wisconsin right?

So, what I said on Sunday ........ It is true that I didn't want to run 100 miles that day.  In fact, it is good that I didn't - given that I was stuck on a plane for 4.5 hours today - and I actually had time to kill, so I went for a 7ish ( probably 8ish in Ron miles) mile run today (which is kind of amazing, relatively speaking ...... I only ran 62 miles three days ago - so I might as well go for a run that would be kind of far for lots of people....)- i.e., the whole I like to run thing worked out.  However - I STILL WANT TO RUN ANOTHER 100 MILES !!!!!!   CRAP, CRAP, CRAP - Kathy - are you reading this ????  How do I reconcile not wanting to run 100 miles whilst running 100 miles and wanting to run 100 miles after not running 100 miles !! ???  Do I hear the Hallucination 100  calling?  Is there any 'noobee" out there that needs a "seasoned" (hardly) 100 miler to run Sawtooth with them ?  OH DEAR....... the saga...... the addiction ..... the desire ..... endures !!!crap, crap, crap.

If only my greatest desire was to watch as much baseball (or football, or basketball or NASCAR) as possible......

Guess I'll sleep on it.  but will have to put put in my ear plugs since along with the room with the employee entrance, is some sort of giant compressor machine that kicks in every few minutes.... do these Californians think they have it better than us ?...... !!!!!! Kathy complained last night that Tom was gobbling just too loud ... really !?  really !!!! ??

I'm not sure what it was

It wasn't the schedule.  I was ahead of schedule.  The schedule allowed for some pretty slow sections.  Even at the end that wasn't the end except it was, I was ahead of schedule.

It wasn't the weather.  It was cool and breezy.  perfect-ish day to run (I did sun-burn the back of my head however since I got my hair cut "special" for the race since it's always hot that day - except it wasn't.  And, the hair-cut was extra special since my barber, wo weighs at least 300 lbs and has had open heart surgery, hurt his back over memorial day weekend (imagine that) and his daughter was there and she's not all that good with the clippers).

It wasn't my conditioning.  I've put in plenty of miles.  I was actually passing people on the second 50K.  One guy that was waiting for his runner (he would be pacing someone for the evening) kept saying I look great.  And actually, relatively speaking I did.

It wasn't my stomach, really, relatively speaking.  I ran some with Logan.  At the 100k point - he looked awful.  White and awful.  I was having trouble eating.  The Gu wasn't cutting it.  but I was able to get watermelon down - best watermelon I have ever had.  And oranges.  Some sandwich squares.  But I was bloating.  Drinking lots but feeling dehydrated.  Nothing an hour of walking couldn't have cured though.  I would have been fine.

I was tired though.  I started noticing the benches along the trail and envisioned me sitting in them being at peace with not moving.  That's actually been happening all spring.  I've noticed large rocks here and there on some of my runs.  There are days when the sun is out and I just want to sit down.  But I didn't and I don't because I was training for the Kettle 100.  Is that when it started?

I didn't sleep well the night before last.  I had night sweats and had to get up 5 times even though I only had 2.5 beers between 5:00 and 9:00.  I think it was just stress.  A very major internal conflict.  I can imagine a cancer patient, trying to sleep the night before they are to go receive their first chemo treatment.  One side of their brain saying you have to do this and here is why.  The other half, the half that holds their soul, the half that holds the self that is still a child and needs to be taken care of saying - but I don't want to, I'm too scared.  Now, running a hundred is not like having cancer - do not even begin to think that I would equate anything in my life to that (and it you've no idea why I'm adding this qualifier - go talk to a cancer patient) - but the conflict I was having over running 100 miles was the same as described above.

The conflict.  In 2007, I decided I wanted to run 100 miles.  And I did - I was 45.  I had magical moments with my brother and sister and sister-in-law.  I felt alive.  Kathy was still in cancer treatement-ish but was there to support me.  I was surrounded by family and love and accomplished what I set out to do.  In 2008, we had storms and I quit at the 100K and that bugged me.  So, I took a weekend from my family and went to Superior.  I had kathy's cancer hat and when I wanted to quit, I kept thinking - no - this is way easier than chemo and there is no way I can take a whole weekend from my sick wife and family and not do what I set out to do.  so I did.  In 2009 I did Kettle again.  Kathy and the girls were there and I honestly have no memory of being at the 100K point and going out again.  I remember it was cold and I remember kathy was there at all the stops and I remember that I was pretty happy.  In effect, perhaps, I ran the perfect 100.  I quit at Vermont because Kathy was there with the RV and I didn't want to run anymore.  I was sick or was hurt until fall 2011 when I went to Superior again.  At mile 6 I decided I had no interest in running 100 miles.  I quit at mile 43.

My friend Kevin signed up for Kettle.  So I did too (kids - peer pressure never goes away).  2 weeks ago, running in the hot hot sun.  I got the idon'twannas.  I considered asking to be taken off the list.  but I didn't.

So,  after being a nervous wreck for 2 weeks and not getting any sleep the night before, I show up at 6:00 AM to run the kettle 100 and I am a nervous wreck.  We start and we start too fast.  But I am fine.  By mile 40, I'm tired etc (see above) and I realize, I just don't want to do this anymore.  I finally don't and really don't care (I actually knew this last september at Superior, but apparently forgot).  I can see my friend Joel, piloting his pontoon boat saying in a slightly slurred and at the same time over enunciated way "I just don't have the desire"  and at the same time, my other friend Dave saying - "I am no 100 mile runner."  As I noted, I have the conditioning, and as the guy above noted, I look fine so I pretty much decide to just finish out the 100K.  It is quitting, but It kind of isn't.  But is is.  And that's OK.  I'm 50.  I like running marathons and 50k's and 50 miles and even Voyageur 50 which takes 11 hours.  I just do not need to run another 100.  If I want to stay up late and feel magic and alive and loved by my family - I'll take them up to the boundary waters and we'll stay up late, siting on a rock outcropping in the middle of a lake, looking up at the stars, wondering what we're doing here but knowing we're here with whom we're here and we're all in it together and each of us is taking care of each other.

So what was it?  Another chapter of my life closed yesterday.  I'm looking forward to what the next one will be.  

Tom

We had Dinner outside last Sunday.  Tom came down to say Hi.

I don't really think it's peculiar that we have a Turkey named Tom that likes to visit the deck.  I am however the only person I know that does have 1: a turkey, 2: a turkey named Tom (though hardly unique I imagine amongst people who do have turkeys) 3: a turkey that sees us as part of his flock.

Kathy and EmmaGrace told me the story of the lost chick the other day.  apparently every time either one got down low whilst trying to retrive the lost baby chick from under the chicken coop, Tom attempted to jump on their backs.  My guess is that, that would have made an excellent episode of the oft talked about reality tv show - life on the farm with Ron.  Ron at work discussing important accounting things, the music similar to the theme from curb your enthusiasm comes on and the scene cuts to the lost chick chaos, Tom strutting about, gobbling and trying to jump atop the women.  clueless, Ron arrives home, happy and relaxed and wonders why there is tension in the house.  I think it could work.  

Tom may have a new girlfriend.  A hen has recently been getting trapped in our yard (when Turkeys encounter a fence, about 95% of the time, they forget that they can fly).  yesterday morning, the hen was in the yard and Tom, who has been calling for hens for two years now, choose to do so that morning from the safety of the chicken coop.  For someone that sleeps on the coop instead of in it, I found it rather surprising.  Apparently he is shy with the real ladies.

I saw a cat this morning.  So far I think it is just after the bunnies.  I imagine there will be a post (that will need to be carefully worded) about this cat rather sooner than later.

So.  I ran the Ice Age 50 mile last weekend.  It was as it always was.... except slower.  Now that Im 50, should I really expect anything else?  All my friends say .... oh - it was slower than last year, but all my friends are 50 too.  It really wasn't all that hot... It was humid, but rankly, Id rather have humid than dry.  I remember backin 1987 or so - I had training in Scotsdale Arizona (in August).  Apparently, the partners of Touche Ross (now Deloitte) thought is was a good idea to invest in a conference center in the desert.  I got off the plane and it was 110 degrees.  but it was dry heat.  WTF, dry heat?  it was like being in a Sauna !  Ive always preferred steam rooms apparently.

Anyways - I ran a 3:50 first half and the second half I got tired.  It was a 4:40.  not what I planned on, but apparently not what anyone else planned on since almost no one passed me.

I didn't shoot anything this week but the dogs did kill about 3 baby raccoons and some bunny's and I did mow over a lemming.  The turkey vultures were quite intrigued today.

I still am not sure of what is happening with this blog.   is what I am writing getting written anywhere? or is what I am tying just .... typing

April 2012

The other day I was pulled across the road by a man's ears.

The raccoon I shot last month (it was attacking my 13 year old daughter.  At least I understand it was attacking her by her rendition of the event and the fact that whilst describing the event, she was fluttering her arms) was discovered by the dogs last night.  It had been decomposed and cleaned up by maggots and chickens.  It did maintain that pungent sort of sweet long dead (but not too long dead) animal scent.  Skippyjon Jones and Jack decided it was well worth a roll, apparently.

I wondered what the awful smell was last night.  I went to bed.  figured it out this morning.  Kathy asked me if I had shut the gate.  no.  Apparently Skippyjon Jones is back for more this morning.  guess I'll be giving dog baths tonight in the rain.