I was wrong. And if you are sick, it's my fault and I apologize.

I'm running 100 miles on Saturday.  Or such is my plan.

I just read my post after quitting Kettle at the 100K point last year.  It sounded great.  So convincing.  So final.  So grounded and mature.  Apparently it wasn't.  Apparently I changed my mind.

It started bugging me that I've quit the last 3 100's I started.  I am not a quitter.  Really.  I may change my mind sometimes (like the last 3 100's I've started), but I don't quit.  Except I have.  And I did.  And I knew it.

And my kids knew it.  Hannah was only 5 when I last completed Kettle.  She and EmmaGrace have seem me quit twice.  It's not OK.  So, I signed up again.

Surprisingly, I've actually not been all that nervous about it.  Of course, it's been an incredibly cool spring which may have been a factor.  I haven't been nervous until this Monday that is.  That's when I started planning my drop bags and watching the weather.  Monday night - I got the cold fever sweats.  I immediately assumed:

1. I have the flu (because other people I know have it - I therefore apologize to all sick people out there - you actually always get sick 1 to 2 weeks before my races just to set me into a panic.  It's my fault.  I'm sorry.) 
2. I have Lyme's disease (because I think I was bitten by a tic whilst camping at Fanny lake 2 weeks ago and I read a lot on the internet about Lymes disease) 
3. I overdosed on Morels this weekend (we had too many last year and all felt woozy for a couple days too)
4. I am entering Manopause (which is perfectly OK) or 
5. I'm nervous (which was actually not a consideration until just now when I read last year's post and saw that I had the cold night sweats too).  

So here it is.  Thursday.  I've slept in flannel and fleece each night to sweat out my sickness (that I may not actually have).  And - I'm very excited because my wetsuit came today and I understand they make your really sweaty (won't Kathy be surprised by this evening's attire ....).

But.  Aside from the fact that I may be sick, or not (see above), I'm not really that worried this year.  I am very well set on simply finishing.  I will not run any hills until mile 70.  I am focusing on 12 minute miles which I still have not achieved in training ( no matter what - I end up at 10 min miles).  I also have planned some very slow sections across the marsh and down to Rice Lake and back where it's dark and rocky.  I do however expect to run the last 14 at a 10 min. pace.  In effect, I'm hoping to be the same guy i was at Ice Age.  Not the fastest guy there, but definitely the happiest and most able to almost immediately grab a burger and a beer (this is a common measure of wellbeing amongst ultra-runners - usually, if we push it to the end, we find ourselves feeling rather awful and unable to eat for an hour or more - my goal is to finnish happy, strong and ready to eat).

So I was wrong when I thought I was mature enough to retire from this 100 mile running thing.  And I really hope I don't have to write a post on Sunday telling all of you (like there are any of you) that actually I was right, then I was wrong and now (Sunday) I'm right again.....

Life is complicated.  I'm pretty sure we bring that on ourselves.